New Normal

I am sitting here tonight watching the 33 miners being rescued and boy does it bring many emotions.

When the miners first got trapped and for the first week or so we all sat and watched. We prayed for them and their families. Then we moved on. We somewhat forgot about them because we had our own lives to live. Many of us probably didn't even think what happened to them. Possibly just assumed they were rescued or maybe forgot about them all together. I was one of those people. I forgot about them. Didn't even cross my mind. I moved on with my own life with my own tragedies.

I remember when Joey had his accident. That first day and even that first month everyone was around. It seemed to me that every ones lives around me stopped too. As the second month passed, then the third and fourth, then the first year went by I noticed others around me moved on with their lives. I didn't understand. Why did their lives move on the same way, but mine didn't. Inside I was soooooo mad at everyone. Mad that they got to continue their lives the way they were before my sons accident and my life was still at a stand still. WHY??????

Well I see now. It has been almost four years since Joey's accident. Yeah I know, FOUR YEARS have gone by. My life has found a new normal. It took about 2 years for me to finally move on in life. It was a very painful 2 yrs and most of the time I felt alone. There seemed to be only a small group of mothers who went on the same journey with me who understood.

Today as I sit here and watch the miners being rescued, I watched them hug their families and feel so relieved. Relieved that they get to find a new normal in their lives. AND it makes me feel angry with myself that I was one of those people that moved on with my life at the beginning. Makes me angry that I was mad and upset at the people around me 4 yrs ago that moved on with my life.

BUT today I understand and I am sorry. I'm sorry I don't stop more often and think about others. I am sorry to those that always supported me, sorry to myself for how I felt.

I pray all the miners make it out safe and I pray that it doesn't take to long to find their new normal.