Dreaming of a Better Day

I guess you don't realize how good you have it until it starts to go away.

I'm in a rut. Well I guess that is what you would call it.

Joey has a reflex called ATNR that affects his whole body. The definition of ATNR is:

The asymmetrical tonic neck reflex (ATNR) is a primitive reflex found in newborn humans, but normally vanishes by the child's first birthday. It is also known as the "fencing reflex" because of the characteristic position of the infant's arms and head, which resembles that of a classically trained fencer. When the face is turned to one side, the arm and leg on the side to which the face is turned extend and the arm and leg on the opposite side bend. In children with cerebral palsy, the reflexes may persist and even be more pronounced. As abnormal reflexes, both the ATNR and the TLR can cause problems for the growing child. The ATNR and TLR both hinder functional activities such as rolling, bringing the hands together, or even bringing the hands to the mouth. Over time, both the ATNR and TLR can cause serious damage to the growing child's joints and bones. The ATNR can cause the spine to curve (scoliosis). Both the ATNR and TLR can cause the head of the thighbone to partially slip out (subluxation) or completely move out of the hip socket (dislocation). When abnormal reflexes persist in a child, early intervention involving extensive physical therapy can be beneficial.

Ok, now you know what I am up against. Over the years since his accident, his ATNR has gotten so much better. It was only affecting him when he was really really mad, he could become irritated, but it wouldn't affect him. In Arizona during ABM, he starting showing the ATNR all the time. Even with very slight irritability. He goes into ATNR almost 50% of his day now. He is in slight pain when he goes into ATNR, it twiks his whole body. He also has a startle reflex. this has been more persistent, but not to bad. Now that we are home he is still having very bad bouts with his ATNR. He is also not eating much. If any of you have seen Joey eat you would understand that eating is Joey's favorite activity. I am having to force the food down him during lunch and sometimes during breakfast. Ok and to top it off he has decided to change his bed time. He use to go to bed at 8:00p, you just laid him down and night night he went. If it was up to him, he would stay awake till midnight. I have been putting him down between 9-10 and letting him cry. He will scream bloody murder from 30-60 minutes before he falls asleep. This is a heart breaker for me, but it is the only way he will fall asleep.

So some people have suggested that maybe Joey is sick or something. No that is not the case. The ABM reprograms his nervous system and messes with the brain. His brain just has to integrate all the information he got from the ABM sessions. Last time we did ABM it took a few weeks for him to get back to normal. The good thing about the ABM is that is eyesight is much better. He is also cognitively better.

All this does not make for a happy mommy. It is very hard to see your child not happy. I want to head back to the gym and want to diet again. I want to go meet my friends and talk on the phone. I want Joey to just be happy and not irritated all the time. So what do I do when I'm in a rut, I EAT! I can't help it food loves me, I love food. I get every depressed. Guess I just have to ride it out and know that this is not the worst he has ever been.

Currently we are doing HBOT. We head out to Ventura, a 45 min drive, everyday, sometime 2x a day. Right now I'm ok with it, I'm sure I will so been tired of the drive soon enough. My babysitter is going to help and take him some of the days to give me a break.

I also miss my other 2 kids. They are at sleep away camp and will be home on Saturday.

Well enough of my moaning and groaning. I am going to sleep now and going to dream of a better day for Joey and I tomorrow.